Taking the Blame

Seeing Manthara, Shatrughna rushed angrily towards her. Bharata stopped him.

"Do not harm her, Shatrughna. Leave her alone."

"But she is responsible for everything! She must be punished!"

"No, Shatrughna. Manthara was only being a loyal servant to her mistress. She cannot be faulted!"

"Then Mother Kaikeyi should have had the wisdom not to get carried away by her words!"

"No, it is not Mother's fault either. She was doing what any mother would do—trying to secure her son's future."

"Then Father is to blame! He could have refused Mother's demands and proceeded with Rama's coronation."

"No. Father had given his word. Belonging to the noble Ikshvaku lineage, he could not go back on his promise."

"Then surely Rama is at fault! He could have refused to go into exile and insisted on his right to the throne."

"No! Rama would never go against Father's word. Obeying our father is his sacred duty. How can we blame him for doing what is right?"

Shatrughna was bewildered. "If Manthara, Mother, Father, and Rama are not to blame, then who is responsible for this calamity?"

Bharata's answer shocked everyone.

"Na Mantharaayaha na cha maathulasyaaha,
Dosho naraagnyaaha, na cha Raaghavasya,
Mat paapamevaartha nimitasya aaseet,
Vanah praveshe Raghunandanasya!"

“Not Manthara, not Mother, not the King, nor Raghava—it is my sin that has become the cause of Raghunandana (Rama) being exiled to the forest!”

Overcome with grief, Bharata lamented:

"If I had never been born, Mother would never have sought the throne for me at Rama's expense. And even if I had been born, had I remained in Ayodhya instead of visiting my maternal grandfather, I could have prevented this calamity. I would have stopped Mother, and Rama would have been crowned king. I alone am responsible!"

Bharata had played no part in the conspiracy. He was not even in Ayodhya when these events unfolded. Yet he took the burden upon himself!

The Sri Vaishnava acharyas celebrate this extraordinary nobility in Bharata. They explain that his name is especially apt: Bharata, the one who bore the burden—even the burden of blame that was never his!

Sri Parasara Bhattar, the great Sri Vaishnava acharya and devotee, stood before Lord Ranganatha, singing the Lord's glories.

Some devotees engaged in temple service were jealous of Bhattar. Standing nearby, they spoke loudly among themselves, criticising him in an attempt to insult him.

Bhattar approached them with a sweet smile. Removing his shawl and some of his ornaments, he respectfully handed them to the one speaking the loudest.

Everyone was shocked.

"Every Sri Vaishnava has two daily duties: to sing the Lord's praises and to lament over his own faults. I became so absorbed in the first that I neglected the second. Thank you, Sir, for doing it for me!"

What others considered an insult, Bhattar received as an opportunity for spiritual growth.

What can we learn from these two incidents?

When something goes wrong, we instinctively explain why we are not responsible. When criticised, we justify ourselves, challenge the critic's judgement, or retaliate.

Accepting a mistake threatens our ego. Taking responsibility when others are at fault is even harder.

If we are busy defending ourselves, where is the room for self-examination?

If we believe the fault always lies elsewhere, will we recognise our own shortcomings?

If every criticism provokes resentment, how can we discover our blind spots?

We may not be able to emulate Bharata or Parasara Bhattar. But we can begin with smaller steps: admitting when we are wrong, apologizing without excuses, listening without defensiveness, and examining criticism before dismissing it.