Resilience: Lessons from a doll

Watch the first 50 seconds of this song “Aadisi nodu beelisinodu, uruli hogadhu” from the classic Kannada film “Kasturi Nivasa.” If you don’t understand Kannada, read the meaning, too.

While the entire song is very meaningful, I’d like to point to that tilting doll, which always manages to get back to an upright position no matter how strongly you push it to the ground. The bottom of this toy is a hemisphere and it is filled with a weight so that tilting the doll causes the center of mass to rise and ….oh, well, I’m not really into the physics of this toy, but those who are, can read about it here. Oh, but I am definitely into the psychology of it ….and to me, this toy signifies the concept of resilience – a quality all of us would do well to possess but which few of us actively cultivate.

What is resilience?

The loss of a loved one to illness or accident, a business deal gone sour, losing a job, the end of a close friendship, flunking an exam, lab reports diagnosing a terminal disease. These are just some of the crises people encounter; if you are lucky, your problems are just a pale hue of these grave situations.

But have you noticed how differently people react to such situations? Some just cave in and give up while others bounce back, adapting to the setback with newer strategies to cope. This ability to adapt to life’s difficulties is called resilience.

4 Things Resilient People Do

Resilient people are not superhumans; their trait is not an extraordinary one, either. Resilience is an ordinary person refusing to get overwhelmed by setbacks and instead, moving on and bouncing back from life’s blows. How do they do it?

They look positively at every event. So, when they fail, they don’t think it is final, but rather, look at it as a necessary step for learning. When they fall, they look for the lesson and learn it. Then they stand up, brush themselves and continue walking ahead.

They have a developed sense of self. They know themselves in and out, are wholly accepting of this information and always extremely self-aware. This gives them so much inner strength that they don’t get affected by ridicule, criticism or others’ opinions of their actions.

They adopt a proactive approach. They pay attention to change, accept it, and make sane decisions instead of ignoring it like the proverbial ostrich that burrows its head into the sand. They care for themselves physically, emotionally and spiritually, using habits that help them recharge their batteries from time to time.

They hold on to a purpose in life. Resilient people are driven by a major sense of purpose – volunteering for social activity, acquiring a new skill, achieving important life goals, self-development or any other goal that channelizes their energy and helps them look forward with hope for the future.

If you want to grow resilient, just adopt these 4 behaviors. And to make it easier, take up some form of spiritual practice for research shows a strong connect between spiritual well-being and resilience.