Women in the Ramayana

Women’s day is when we talk about aspects of women empowerment. So I thought of choosing the lens of the Ramayana to see what we women can learn and implement to elevate our lives.

First, let’s have a small quiz. Here are the names of the woman character, and you must give me the name of their husband – ready?
1. Seeta
2. Sumitra
3. Urmila
4. Ahalya
5. Sunayana
6. Sarama

(You probably knew all the answers, except 5 & 6? Sunayana's husband is Janaka Maharaja and Sarama's husband is Vibheeshana)

Now let’s consider the behaviour of some of these women in the Ramayana and talk about what’s the lesson for us in it.

1. Seeta followed Rama into forest for vanavasa – stand by your spouse through the tough times. Marriage is for sharing both joys and sorrows together.

2. Urmila stayed back in Ayodhya while Lakshmana went to vanavasa – sometimes it’s your duty to hold the fort at home while your spouse fights his battles elsewhere. Have the maturity to accept and handle such situations.

3. Sumitra blessed Lakshmana when he insisted on following Rama to vanavas – when your child chooses the right path, although it may be difficult for you to see him suffer, give him your blessings. 

Now let’s see what NOT to do

4. Kaikeyi – was fond of Rama – but when Manthara evoked jealousy against Kausalya, Kaikeyi lost her power of judgement. Jealousy is the greatest monster that destroys our ability to think and reason. Be wary of it. Associate with positive and broad minded persons who uplift us, not those who pull us down!

5. Ahalya – fell prey to temptation – recognized that Indra was not her husband Gautama, but lost her head thinking that her beauty had captivated Indra himself. Steer clear of those who approach you with unholy intentions. Character of the woman is the most crucial to moral behaviour in the family.

6. Shoorpanakha – her immoral desire became the vehicle to cause destruction of entire rakshasa clan. When the woman of the house has ever-growing demands, it can drive the family to destructive ways of life.

7. Sunayana – Janaka’s wife – mother of Seeta. No mention at all of what she did when Seeta chose to go to vanavasa – let your married daughters take their decisions – don’t interfere with their life in a negative way!

8. Sarama – wife of Vibheeshana – retained her good and satvik nature even when in the middle of other rakshasis in Ashoka vana. Didn’t allow their evil behaviour to change her attitude. Stay committed to the right values in life no matter what others around you are doing.

Finally, here are two stories.

Story 1

After the killing of Ravana, when Hanuman went with good news to Seeta, he asked her permission to kill the rakshasis. She refused, saying they had only done what their king had ordered. She further said that all of us make mistakes – it is noble to forgive. Seeta’s mistake – to want the deer, and then speak harshly to Lakshmana. Rama’s  mistake – to listen to Seeta’s words and ignore Lakshmana’s. Hanuman’s mistake also – to stand and listen with interest about mistakes of Rama and Seeta!

Story 2

When pushpaka vimana was bringing back Rama, Seeta and Lakshmana and all vanaras from Lanka, they decided to take with them the vanara wives too.

Those vanara women were very curious to see the famed beauty of Seeta for whom the entire battle had been fought. They judged her on the vanara scale of beauty.

One said “Such big eyes Seeta has!”, another said “Such small waist she has”, third one said, “Forget all that – she has no tail only!”

Seeta heard all this – but only smiled. She who had forgiven the rakshasis who tortured her was not likely to take offense at the jabbering of the vanara women!

What's the lesson for us here? There will always be someone who has standards different from yours. Understand that their viewpoint is valid for them – don’t get annoyed by their comments, but don’t let that dictate your standards, either!

 Learn to draw a protective armour around yourself – "Not my circus, not my monkeys!”