Follow by Email

Tuesday, 26 May 2015

THE STALKERS AND THE STALKED – A SUMMER OF 2015 STORY

The first time I wrote something, someone in the world trusted me enough to let it see the light. What better way to encourage new writers than to provide them with a platform to make themselves heard. So, here I am, introducing someone who has something to say in a unique voice, and hoping it will make a difference. Always, I look forward to your comments as a means to take the conversation ahead; this time, what you say will also guide talent and therefore, I request you even more earnestly to provide your valuable feedback. Read on......

I have a confession to make – I have not read Kafka, Freud or anyone else like them, quoting liberally from whom would qualify me to be an intellectual. I see myself more as a castaway from mainstream thought trying to stay afloat in its deep waters. I did try reading these gentlemen more than once, and found them, honestly to be “over the top” for spiritual pariahs like me - since they were premium products for a niche audience, to use a marketing parallel.

My journey has been about trying to find a method to the madness that life is, and after deep deliberation, I have concluded that there is only one rule to this madness – that there is no rule.

Hence, when strange events began happening to me this summer of 2015, I had to seek refuge in that manna from Mount View California – Google!  It was only when I googled some perspective into my experience that I realized that I was not alone in this journey.

My notions of travelling to mind spaces where “no one hath gone before” – like Captain James T Kirk of the Star Trek saga – were shattered in minutes, because I realized (googlised?) that indeed, these mind spaces had been conquered before by myriads of adventurers like me – men, women and their magnificent memories- time and time again in history.

Is that the idiosyncrasy of life – are we all travelers on our personal voyages, each doing our own thing, going about our lives, in a crowded journey, jostling for spaces? We meet people, make families and associations our own, feel attached, but at the end of the day – we are on our own trips in life, I mine, You Yours and never the twain shall meet!

Or will they? That indeed is the suspense which keeps us all afloat in this sea of life, hoping for a tomorrow better than today. It’s important, this belief – for, our lives are made, that much more worth living by people who we think bring that unique flavor.

 Why is it that we meet someone for the first time feeling like we have already known them for years? So much so that we wonder how our existence was complete without that person!

We go about our lives in a routine manner and then somebody walks in – and we feel so helplessly, irrationally, and ruthlessly attracted. Romantic? Probably yes, but not always true. But at the same time we know it runs much deeper. It invariably kicks off with a euphoric feeling that irresistibly goads you to connect with that person as if there was something intertwining their existence with yours.  

Soon after, the pain starts - at a very deep, mysterious level, tearing open your innards every night, only to reassemble them in the morning, leaving you clueless about the purpose of it all!

Mostly one, sometimes two, on few occasions more – but they appear one after the other like episodes in your life’s soap opera, over the years. Who are these people? Are they messengers of a higher being, sent to you for discovering some great gyaan, to give your life a higher purpose? Or are they here to teach you an important lesson when you need it most? May be they mean to make you feel protected during turbulent times? Or is their presence in your life – what’s the word – mere serendipity, or what’s the other word - God’s grace?

 These people occupy centre stage in our life at various stages playing important parts, and yet we know they are not ours to keep. They have a specific purpose, and once that is fulfilled, the halo lifts and the angels depart, leaving us all alone in a sea of familiar faces. This is unbelievable – this whole experience is like a storm, and the roaring wind twists and mangles me like it would do to vulnerable, defenceless trees- and yet I feel nice, happy and exhilarated about it.

This alternative entry and exodus of entities, I believe, is the essence of living – embedded in these seemingly unending sequences of enchanting, memorable, inexplicable events and experiences, which we believe we control, but know deep within we cannot. Trust in life, therefore, is the only option, as we go through the ecstasy and agony, hoping against hope that the reason for these experiences will become clear in due time.

Remember our times as kids – we would turn our faces to the sky, imagine a fast moving object moving towards the earth, close our eyes doing a countdown, hoping that as we reached One, there would be a great explosion, such as that caused by a celestial object hitting the earth. The Skylab crash of 1979 is a memory that is etched forever, because it was the first time I experienced fear as a child – people said it could possibly fall “anywhere”. When nothing happened, I was relieved and at the same time, a little disappointed.

So kids we are, throughout life, trying to figure out the unexplained mysteries that confound us, closing our eyes each time and counting backward from ten – going through relief, disappointment, joy, exasperation –wishing that we would never reach One and time would never come to an end.

I am no different. Life is Here and Now.

And in this Now, as I try and make sense of these random thoughts to compose my first blog post,  I cannot but help feel a deep gratitude for all these special people who have walked in and out of my life giving me this feeling of utterly obfuscating bliss. Some still walk beside me and I know there are others who lie in wait, yet to come. Thanks to them, I have woken up with a smile on my face, like the self-help books said I should.

With their company and without, I have grown. I am I partly because of them and they are they, partly because of me.

We meet, we part – this is the only element of certainty in these relationships – but not before having forged connects at a deeply spiritual level that we cannot even begin to fathom. When they do part, all we need to do is to pick up the threads from the casket of memories and relive the entire experience in a flashback of sorts. Or simpler still, close our eyes and count backwards from ten to one, think of them, and they all come back with their presence inundating our conscious like a tsunami of reminiscences.

Life goes on – we continue to lead our lives as we were always tutored – with our dear ones, relatives, friends, sons and daughters, sisters and brothers, parents et al. But the very existence of these persons somewhere in the spatial and temporal corridors of our subconscious, stalks us – if only to make us realize what our lives are worth. Their underlying presence even in the most inane of our activities, their ability to walk all over our lives in limited time and lend it a hitherto unknown dimension - perhaps, this is what makes us a victim of the most lovable stalking experience ever in the history of this planet.

If this is stalking – I’d ask to be stalked again and again…and again.




12 comments:

  1. Thank you for this superb article...this really mean lot to me as I cud connect many things. ..thanks again

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm glad to know you could connect to the article and hope I can put up more such writing that you can relate to.

      Delete
  2. Lovely thoughts. Hitherto i was teaching traditional stalking upto cyber stalking which is are crimes. Now i will add spiritual stalking to give positive touch to heal victims of such crime. From the young age we are told about that Guy who is always with us and we are only instruments in His hands.Thank u for exchanging the true thoughts of everyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spiritual stalking....that's a nice sounding term, Ram anna. As to whether this stalking is by human souls or that Guy...well, only the author of this piece can answer that question...But you've surely given a new dimension by bringing in this aspect.

      Delete
    2. I always feel that He is with me. And that has made me fearless. I am never alone. When he is there to take care, let us simply enjoy the journey. Charioteer is there to steer through the jaunt.

      Delete
    3. You've spoken for me, too...thank you.

      Delete
  3. Interesting article actually.. its a phase that everyone goes through.. desperately wanting something to happen.. but eventually we come to realize that each moment is a miracle in itself.. only that we're not looking.. we need to realize them, accept them and be grateful they happened.. I did think this article was written by a cancer survivor.. but I guess realizing things don't happen "to" us but "for" us is just as valuable..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Things don't happen "to" us but "for" us...quite a profound observation to make ..thank you for pointing that out..

      Delete
  4. Beautiful thoughts and beautiful expressions...I have had these experiences too but am not so gifted as to put it into words. Thanks to the writer for saying this so nicely.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I second your comment...indeed, it does make for wonderful reading.

      Delete
  5. Well written as far as self expression is concerned. .. it is clear the author is a person with a very sensitive mind n a deep yearning /quest for truth. In Hinduism in jnaanayoga there is a stage called as vicharanaa or gataa-yataa. ...a person in this stage tries to get answers to questions like what is the meaning of life, who am I, what is connection between beings etc by means of his intellect. . In this stage he is in search of a Guru. . When the seeking becomes more intense he gets the next guidance....
    Felt nice reading the article. . However it is a bit too open ended.. meaning there is no conclusion; this would also be Ok. .. it could have had something like a further direction from here or some such thing. .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Vatsala for your multiple-level feedback :-) If indeed this holds true for the author, let us together wish him well for the further direction.

      Delete

Do share your thoughts on this through the comment section. All you need to do is click on the hyperlinked word "comments" at the end of the blog and then enter your message in the box that opens up. If you so wish, you may also get in touch with me through email: anuranganathan31@gmail.com