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Tuesday, 27 November 2018

NaBloPoMo 2018: Day 27: How do you talk to yourself?

I sit down to write today’s post and within a minute, hear a familiar horn. The master of the house is back. As I rush to open the gate, I feel a frisson of irritation. “There’s always some interruption just when I sit down to write,” I fume inwardly. Ironic, considering the topic on which I wanted to write.

With effort, I halt the mental diarrhoea that’s threatening to strike. “Check what you said just now. Always some interruption, you grumbled – is that really true? Today is day 27 of the blogathon – and except for two or three days, you’ve been left undisturbed to do your thing. 3 out of 27 is not ‘always’ – don’t exaggerate,” my mind says to me.

It turns out hubby wants dinner at once, so I make the chapattis and serve him. Then I realize it’s almost my dinner time, so I decide to finish my meal before sitting down to write. During this process of making, serving and eating dinner, I get a few more thoughts about what to write. Blood glucose levels rise, and I’m altogether feeling more cheerful as I get back to writing the blog.

Today’s post was going to be about negative self-talk. Thanks to this incident, I got an actual example to demonstrate it.

Whether you realize it or not, you do talk to yourself – that is called self-talk. And our internal monologue has a huge impact on how we feel. When we’re feeling bad, we get upset; this affects our focus and communication, too, and often paves the way for more unpleasant stuff to happen.

So what you need to do is stop the cycle from going ahead. How?

Go back to my example.

First, I realized where my thoughts were going.

Next, I challenged a thought I had slipped into.

Then I said, “So what if there’s a small interruption?” and adapted to the new situation

I looked for what positive came out of the disturbance.

So, here’s my SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) to stop negative self-talk.

1. Identify the negative thought

2. Ask if the thought is true/false

3. Question the possibilities with “So what?”

4. Change over to a positive viewpoint

5. Act accordingly

6. Look for the lesson

7. Repeat next time

There you have it – the secret to being more relaxed, less uptight, and feeling better about your life.

All said and done, some things will happen the way they will. Accept them you must. Whether you do so gracefully or are brought there kicking and screaming is entirely up to you.


  1. Brilliant. We all talk to ourselves along with many more thousands of voices in our heads. This mantra of yours will definitely give our mind to lead the other voices inside and keep them in control.

    1. Thank you, Shilpa! Happy that you think this will help :-)

  2. Awesome, I call this the heart and the Brain talk.....ha ha ha
    Your analogy is indeed very clearly laid out and I see you have tested and proved too...:-)
    My thoughts is to see why at all do I get frustrated? Is it coz I was self focused at my task and was distracted? Coz On any other normal scenario, family member arriving on time and serving hot meal to them is the ultimate favorite of any lady at home? Which one these is taking priority leading to frustrating thoughts... Which is nothing but game of having expectations or managing expectations.... What do think?
    Thanks, Madhavi Paranjape

    1. There's one saying - Those who can, do...those who can't teach. And this kind of an impression about teachers irritates, I never teach/preach something without first doing it myself.
      Your analysis of being focused on task is spot on. As to the rest, "ultimate favourite" etc, I'll ask you the question some years later after you've been married for 10 years or more ;-)


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