The class is getting restless after about 45 minutes of
lecturing. I’m tired of it, too. So, I tell them we’ll play a game. I'll say
one word, and they should write down the immediate word that comes to mind on hearing it. In the middle of many generic words like ‘mother,’ ‘Bangalore,’
‘pharmacy,’ ‘father’ and so on, I slip in my name, too. No, I’m not
narcissistic – there’s a purpose behind this word association name. After I’m
done with my list of about 10 words, we discuss what each one wrote in response
and they understand the concept of word association.
I ask what they wrote against my name and they come out with
certain adjectives. Like I said already, I’m not interested in singing my own
praises, so I’ll pass the question of what those adjectives were. We run
through them and I point out that none of them said ‘short’ ‘long hair’ ‘saree’
‘fair’ etc. I use this example to help them understand how it shows that it’s
some quality in me that came to mind. This means we respond to the vibe we
catch from someone rather than their physical appearance. Otherwise, how could
they ignore my lack of beauty to come up with these words?
At this point, there’s some XYZ, who, secure in the
anonymity provided by the back benches, blurts out, “But Ma’am, you’re beautiful,”
and in response, I quip, “Wow – thank you, five marks extra for XYZ in the next
exam.” We all laugh. Both they and I know I can say that for precisely the
reason that it’s farthest from the truth of how I operate.
During this discussion, they open up about how what I’m
telling them is totally the opposite of what they face in their peer group or
family circles. So we go on to talk more about it, and I try to give them examples
of well-known achievers who reached where they did based solely on their
ability and not their looks.
From their responses, it’s obvious that they are vulnerable
to what people comment about their looks. I know, I know, they must know better
– but if you recollect the diffidence of your youth, it’s not difficult to
empathize with these young ones and their pain.
Which is why I get upset with advertisements like the new ad
of Fogg deodorant for men. There’s this guy who’s getting ready and wants to
know if he will be found acceptable – and going by the usual premise of these
deo advertisements – probably by a girl. His friends says he’s only 50% ready
until he uses Fogg and the voiceover doles out this gyaan – “To be liked by
someone, it’s important to not just look good, but also smell good.” Which, I
feel, is ridiculous because while the last part of this sentence reduces the
entire exercise of “liking” someone to an animalistic level, the first part propagates
false stereotypes.
Of course, we know advertisers do what it takes to sell
their product. Getting into a tizzy over potentially-damaging ideas they convey
to their target audience is not what they get paid for. Besides, isn’t it the
consumers’ job to not get swayed by the inappropriate messaging? Right, it is –
except that in the kind of society we live in, with its emphasis on fair skin,
medium build, tall, slender, good looking individuals, the have-nots (the ones
who don’t have these attributes) get marginalized to such an extent that they
lose confidence in their abilities which, any day, are a far bigger measure of
them as people than mere external appearance.
I talk about this low self-esteem stemming from negative
body image out of my considerable experience with youngsters. I’ve had students
who’ve been really good at something but hesitant to showcase it or step into
the limelight because they think they don’t look good enough. There are others
who get discouraged from pursuing something they’re good at because they’ve had
experiences where their abilities have been brushed aside in favor of someone
who’s better-looking. And in this, along with adults, the youth are sometimes
the enemies of their own peers.
By talking to my students of these things, I try to bolster
their self-belief. It may be a tiny drop in the ocean; but then, isn’t it true
that many a drop an ocean make? Hopefully, someday when they feel hurt by
callous comments, they will take heart by remembering my encouraging words.
Most appropriate blog now. Advertisers go to any length promoting beautifying products targeting weakness of people. And sadly they seem to have succeeded. In supermarkets items like Fogg, Axe etc find prominent place at the entrance.
ReplyDeleteA few years back there was ad in TV from Fair & Lovely how a girl gets selected for cricket commentary by improving her looks by using their product. How inappropriate.
You are doing a great job in teaching them at young age to overcome and overlook such attitude. In reality many teachers like you are badly needed.
You're right in saying these ads are inappropriate. Thank you for applauding my efforts.
DeleteThe best "lecture" to get!
ReplyDeleteI personally know of someone who fights tooth and nail that women especially grow in career or reach places only because of fair skin and good looks. That the ones who have neither must study hard and excel academically since that's all they can do
Nice one Anu.Definitely we need more such discussions.Its sad that the teachers are partial to good looking children and sideline the others.
ReplyDelete