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Tuesday, 7 November 2017

NaBloPoMo 2017: Day 7: An Alternate View to the Last Post

In response to yesterday’s post, a reader wrote back to me in detail. I found that this was an alternate viewpoint especially relevant with today’s kids. Initially, I thought I would re-write what she said; later, I realized it sounds much more authentic in her voice although there are a few small errors here and there – that’s because the message was composed in a hurry on WhatsApp. However, they don't detract from the message, so I've let them be.

I’ve only made a few changes so as to avoid revealing her identity because that’s the way she wanted it. Do bear in mind that the kid in this anecdote is around 6 or 7 years old and the behavior the mother describes is par for the course.

Do read what she had to say….

* XYZ is her brother

She’s right. Not all kids are inclined to listen to parents’ advice. And in today’s times, with our democratic ways of parenting, we aren’t the kind who lay down the law and it’s even more unimaginable that our kids will take it lying down. In that sense, parenting has become an active task where you discuss and explain things to your children rather than passively setting down rules that cannot be crossed without question. 

And yet, I’m not an advocate of only democracy when it comes to parenting. There are times in relation to some critical areas where discussing and explaining may not work and then, in the best interests of your child, you need to lay down the law. Let it never happen that you give in to your kid’s unreasonable demands because you cannot bear the tantrum that follows or because you don’t want to ‘hurt’ your child.

If, over the years, as your kid grows, you have built up a loving, open relationship with your kid, this will be not as devastating an experience for either side.

But what if you try your best and still, your kid shuns you and takes off on the wrong track? That is a possibility. From my experience, observing so many families where bad parenting still produced reasonable kids and good parenting did not always guarantee reasonable kids, I would say it all boils down ultimately to how much Divine Grace you are blessed with.

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